What Do I Want?

Several months ago I had decided this was it: as much as I loved my current workplace and the people in it, I was going to leave. I wanted to try new things. I wanted to see what else was out there in the big wide world.

Credit: Imagebase.net

Credit: Imagebase.net

The summer was spent networking, connecting, and sending out so many resumes I lost count. Job interviews slowly started coming in, accompanied by restless nights and dusting off my interview outfits. I felt grateful for my current workplace, where there was always an open line of communication. They knew about my decision and even gave me feedback along the way. Painfully, finally, a job offer came my way. An actual job offer! It was for a great company, in a great location, and surely would guarantee I would learn many new things for along time to come.

The butterflies turned to stone and wouldn’t go away. Why was I feeling like this? I had reached my goal. I had made it. Shouldn’t I have been excited?

The day after the job offer came through, my boss asked me, “Vivien, where do you want your career to go?”

I couldn’t answer him. Truth was, I had never given much thought to even though I knew full well I should have decided a long time ago. In between the part-time jobs, full-time classes, networking, and recruiting, I felt like I was just trying to make it to next week.

What did I want? I started making a mental list of all the pros and cons. Of all the things I loved about my job, and all the great things I believe I would love about my new one. It seemed like an even keel: I just kept rocking the boat back and forth and making absolutely no progress. What did I want?

A couple of days later, I knew what clinched the deal. It was the people. Not just my boss and coworkers, but the clients. I had spent 4.5 years in the same office. Many clients knew me by name, and I them. Many followed the grueling trek I made to obtain my designation, and many remembered when I wrote my final exam, and when those results came out. I had fallen in love with that aspect of public practice; that was what I wanted for the rest of my life.

There was my answer, and with it a whole new set of circumstances. I made the decision to become an entrepreneur. Seems like a crazy thing to say out loud (when this wasn’t even my on radar as recently as a year ago), but when I say it out loud, I feel at ease. I’m not saying I know where or exactly how to start (I don’t). I’m not saying it will be an easy road or a short one (is it ever?) but I know this is the best decision for me. Someday, somehow, I would like to open up my own accounting place.

And my boss and coworkers, those insane too-good-to-be-true individuals that they are, have allowed me to stay as long as I need before I am stable enough to stand on my own. There are moments when I’m still scared out of my mind, but I’m more than excited to try. I’ve got a goal in mind.

That is where I want to go.

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6 thoughts on “What Do I Want?

  1. aaahhh this is SO exciting!!! congratulations on making that decision because it’s huge and exciting! speaking from a newly-minted entrepreneur (which also wasn’t on my radar much more than a year ago) it’s freeing/amazing/terrifying/hard/rewarding/endless. congrats vivien!

  2. Congratulations Vivien!
    “That is where I want to go.” I feel your conviction and determination!
    hope you still find time to write a funny speech once in a while πŸ™‚

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